This post will probably seem a little weird...but I am basically going to write about how much I love my life. So if you want to stop reading right now, I won't judge you. It's 10:00am on a Tuesday morning and I finally have a day off...and I woke up so unbelievably chipper and optimistic that I just had to get my thoughts out.
I had a little bit of a moment of clarity last night...I woke up in the middle of the night, it must have been about 3 or 4 in the morning...and I sat up in bed and looked around my room. I've lived here for just over 4 months now and it's suddenly become home within the last few weeks. I got up and took a little walk around my 850 square foot apartment and almost started to cry just thinking about how happy I am living here. I can't see myself leaving this apartment anytime soon, and I hope I never have to for any reason. My job is a typical droning serving job in a dingy little neighborhood pub, but I love working there. My school is amazing and every moment I spend there, I am throwing my heart and soul into my passion 100%. Even on days like yesterday, when I honestly wanted to cry. My roommate means the world to me, and I feel so lucky to have found her and to now be living with her so peacefully. The people I have met in this city have changed my life for the better. I never could have imagined growing this much in a 4 month time period, but I guess leaving everything you know will do that to you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am overwhelmed with my blessings. I took a huge leap of faith by choosing this path with no real plan, and opened my heart to the universe, just hoping that it would take care of me...and sure enough, all of the tools and strength I needed were somehow provided to me. All of those sleepless nights worrying and wondering if I'd made the right choice and if I was going to be able to make it on my own have finally paid off...I'm actually doing it.
I'm not on scholarship to an Ivy League university. I'm not backpacking through Europe and enriching my life with ancient cultures. I'm not volunteering overseas. I'm not working towards scoring an apprenticeship with a prestigious company. I don't have a job with a fat pay cheque where I get to wear heels and a pantsuit every day. I live off of Chinese take-out and stay home watching Netflix because it's more financially appropriate for me than going out. I drive a car that may kick the can any day now. I live pay cheque to pay cheque and sometimes have to get creative with how I make ends meet.
But I'm doing a hell of a lot more than scared, terrified, safe me was doing a year ago. And I'm doing it on my own, and that makes me feel so proud. When we graduated high school 3 years ago, everyone had such enormous dreams; whether it was education or travel or money or love...but this is my dream, albeit small and maybe insignificant to some people...but I'm living in a city that I think is one of the most wonderful in the world, I'm attending the school of my dreams, and I even manage to pay all my bills AND buy my own Kraft Dinner. If that's not gratification, then I don't know what is.
xo-ac
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