I am writing this post while on the train. I am not quite sure how to feel about that. Anyway. Today I have a 'day off'...which I sometimes get once a week (it's magical) and I'm heading downtown to my school as I am modeling for a hair coloring class called Red Chocolate. Can't wait to see what they do...it's being taught by the one and only David Adams (which is a huge deal to me) and then after that I'm headed to my Uncle's fiancé's house for Valentines Day dinner! My uncle lives and works in LA and wasn't able to make it home for V Day so Marv is putting on a 'Dinner for Lonely Hearts'..fair enough.
I don't think I'd go as far as to say that I am a lonely heart. I get lonely sometimes, sure, but the best part about being on my own right now is learning how to love my friends and family to the absolute maximum that I can. I have been so busy being a girlfriend for the last 4 years that I forgot how to be a good friend, a good sister, a good daughter. I'm re-learning what love means altogether and it's so refreshing! Now I look around me at all of these people in my life an cant believe how much love I have for them.
Valentine's day can often get blown out of proportion and taken out of context by the way that it's marketed to society. Commercialism is a bitch that way. Personally, I'm stoked to spend this day focusing all the love in my heart on the people I'm surrounded by...whoever they may be! I'm going to buy flowers for whoever ends up doing my hair at this class and bring little treats for everyone at dinner tonight. Just because you aren't currently in a romantic relationship doesn't mean this day can't be devoted to love!
At the same time, I did feel the pressure of V Day when I was asked to go out with a couple of different guys in the last little while. I wondered who the hell I was as I politely declined..because the old Me would have jumped at the chance to go on some romantic valentines date. I guess maybe I'm just not ready for anything like that right now. Or maybe I just didn't want to turn down a chance to enjoy Marva's cooking at the lonely hearts dinner. Who knows.
All I know is that I love love. And even though I'm not in love and don't even particularly want to be in love, it warms my heart to see all the people in this world that are. It's inspiring to know how such a strong feeling can take hold of your entire world and change your life in ways that you never even believed were possible. I've been lucky enough to feel it twice before, let it go, and watch life go on. I know it will come and go again. That's the thing about love. There are never guarantees, but it's one of the most beautiful elements of life on earth.
So whether you're in love, angry with love, fed up with love, inspired by love, or looking for love..I encourage you to spend this day loving everyone you possibly can. Guess what, random reader? I love YOU!
xo-ac
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